I am challenged ...
God i've been so pissed, so drained, so scared... u've been good to me i have no doubts... indeed... " when we win, we praise God. When we lose, we praise God."
Even when things dun turn out well for me, i c ur purpose... ur plans were obviously progressive... now that ur calling is clear... i pray for courage... " let go, let God."
Father i know i cant carry on like this anymore... i cant do much with my own will... i have my limits... if life goes on like tt i will snap... im tired of all these "roller coasters" in my life... all the ups and downs are draining me...
yet i have an internal locus of control... i know tts where the evil one took hold of me... he played with my mind so much... i haven been willing to surrender as there are parts of my life i cant let go... one of which my results... things like tt are my sense of security... tt explains all my panic attacks behind the sewing machine... becos i fear too much... i fear failure too much... now i feel bounded...
free me my lord...
it makes total sense Father i dunno how to face the amount of work n my fears like tt without you... but i fear the ups and downs n the pains tt cums with it...
i've been very stubborn, i know... i needed my security too much... fill me with ur spirit in tt empty spot, i pray...
now i wan to let go God, i wan to believe in ur almighty hands... i'm tired... sumtimes i feel so tired of life with all the humps... teach me Father, guide me... I cry for healing.... fill me with ur spirit as i let go God... even with the hunger for u... as the spirit goes before me in my daily living to every little detail of my life i pray for ur presence and ur joy of truth... help me always remember tt thru difficult times, the final victory has been won... i pray all these as i face my worst fears to be willing to let go and even to fail in my securities... u will give me strength and courage... and fill me with the new foundation of my needs in you...
for u r a God who provide... this u hav proven to me again n again... thank u Father, thank you for ur repeated calling, thank you for being so faithful to wait for me... thank u for ur mercy n grace when i was so stubborn.... thank u for being this God of love, thank u for ur plans and thank u for choosing us as ur chosen ones... thank you... my amazing God...
